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The wedding was taking place in the Doo Wop Diner, a unique replica of a diner from the 1950s. A Wurlitzer juke box whirred to life, playing soft background music as Elvis gave Lulu's hand to Kris and took his place to officiate their wedding, which was being beamed out to the world live on the internet.As bizarre as the visuals were, the ceremony itself was remarkably traditional. Elvis took the rings and described them as symbols of the love shared between Lulu and Kris, an unbroken circle made of precious metal that called to mind the precious nature of that love.Their vows were simple and unique to their relationship. The bride went first."I promise to love you always, even when I'm mad at you, and spank you when you need it."Kris grinned and took his turn."And I promise to love you always, even when you're mad at me, and spank you when you want it."Elvis pronounced them married and began singing "Rags To Riches" while the couple kissed. They kissed for the entire song.The best. "When I first got in the armed forces, I thought there was a lot of stupid shit going around—all these customs and traditions and practices that you obeyed just because you always had. Obviously, I didn't say anything, or I'd get my sergeant's boot shoved up my ass, but I thought it was all pretty stupid. But as time passed and I got further into my training—and especially once I got to active duty—I started to understand that all these things they had told us to do were actually to our benefit. Why do you wanna do it that way? Because we tried it the other way, and we know this way works best because the guys who tried it the other way, died because of it. And so, as more and more things were handed to me that I was supposed to take on faith, I got into the habit of assuming that there was a good reason for doing it that way, which I might not know right now but would find out about later. And heck, sometimes I could even get a sergeant to explain it."I think that's true of all the.
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